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He’s driving me despicable

(40 – 14/12)

I’m totally against men (or anyone for that matter) calling women “crazy,” since it can be a dehumanizing term that gaslights women into questioning their feelings. At the same time, I’m all for acknowledging that some dating behavior can send the message that you’re gaga over someone, while other types can go way overboard. And guys can be guilty of all of these too!

It’s totally natural to feel like you’re coming a bit undone when you’re in love. Your entire world is suddenly thrown off its axis by this person, who in your mind seems like the platonic ideal of who a partner should be (whether he actually matches up to that is up for debate). Whether you’re coupled up or just dealing with a raging crush, there’s the good kind of feeling nuts over a love interest. There’s also the one that actually makes you question your sanity. Here are a few different scenarios that highlight the difference.

THIS IS Crazy in love: You haven’t heard from him, so you imagine he’s dead in a ditch somewhere.
THIS IS Driving you crazy: You show up at his house to make sure he’s not dead in a ditch somewhere.

THIS IS Crazy in love: Your stomach rolls when you think about him with his ex, so you shove that image out of your mind by remembering the stupid-hot sex you had last night.
THIS IS Driving you crazy: You find everything you can about the ex online and compose a pro/con list for each of you, realizing that although she has prettier hair, you’ve reached your career goals more quickly.

THIS IS Crazy in love: After your first date, you’re pretty sure you’re going to marry the dude.
THIS IS Driving you crazy: You say as much on your second date.

The girl bites a ripe cherry. Cherry in mouth close up.

As you can tell, the difference between the two comes down to how you act on your feelings. Both avenues start with the same seed of emotion: missing a guy, jealousy, etc., but it’s all in the execution. This took a while for me to learn, which was why I always worried I was being too needy. While I never did anything as outrageous as the “driving you crazy” options above, sometimes I still look back and wish I would have toned things down a little! That’s especially true when the guy ended up not being worth it.

When was the last time you felt like someone drove you completely crazy?